Alice's Sexual Discovery in a Wonderful World (Fairy Tale Erotica) Read online

  Alice picked up the small key from the table. She nibbled on a piece of mushroom. The door got bigger. She nibbled a bit more. The door rose to meet her. She had shrunk down and could fit through the door now.

  The key fit perfectly. Alice rushed through, and found herself outdoors surrounded by red and white roses. A bright sun shone upon her. A heady fragrance of roses made her sigh in longing for home.

  Her heart sank. This was not her family’s garden. Was she still stuck in the strange world?

  Her bare feet traced a footpath of smooth gravel all the way to the main road. The gravel crunched beneath her feet without hurting her soles.

  Alice came upon a strange man licking the roses at the side of the road. The man was flat. Literally, two-dimensional. The trunk of his body was squashed and flat like a piece of paper. His flat body was dressed in green overalls with three red hearts on his breast pocket.

  But his head and limbs were normal.

  The man stood over one of the rose bushes. He guided one of the white roses to his lips, and licked its petals.

  At least, it was a white rose.

  Or was it red?

  Actually, it looked like red liquid dripped from his tongue as he painted the white petals red.

  “Are you bleeding?” Alice asked.

  The man jumped. “You—you scared me.”

  “I’m sorry, it’s just—your mouth is all red. Are you bleeding?”

  “No, I’m painting.” He glanced over his shoulder down the road as if to see if anyone was coming. “I’m the gardener, and was supposed to plant red roses for the queen.” He rushed his words in a conspiratorial tone. “There was a mix-up with the seeds. Some white roses grew with the red roses. If I don’t paint these white roses red before the queen arrives, she’ll have my head!” He rushed both hands over his crotch to emphasize his point, and then guided the white rose he was painting back to his lips.

  Alice stifled a laugh. What was the queen going to do with his flat body, cut a hole where his penis should be?

  “I know a gardener who works in my yard. His name is Jack.” Alice wasn’t really sure why she said this. Maybe it was because she didn’t know what else to say.

  A distant voice boomed. “Here comes the queen!”

  Alice and the gardener turned toward the road. A parade of flat people marched in front of a high seat being carried by more flat people. On the high seat was a woman who must have been the queen.

  “No! No! No!” The gardener said in a panicked voice. “I’m not finished! If she sees what I’ve done she’ll have my head!”

  Alice didn’t think he had anything to worry about. Surely the queen would understand a mix-up with the red rose and white rose seeds. But what if the queen were as ruthless as people had been saying?

  “Quick,” Alice said. “Hide under my dress!”

  “Thank you! Thank you!” The gardener folded over and positioned himself between Alice’s legs.

  The processional of flat people approached. They wore military uniforms. When they were close enough, Alice could see the rows of hearts like medals across their coats. These flat soldiers kept their heads at attention, staring straight down the road as they passed Alice as if she wasn’t there.

  As the raised platform with the queen was passing Alice, Alice was about to breathe a sigh of relief when the queen shouted, “Stop!”

  Alice stood tall and demure as was expected before a queen. Though she’d never actually met one.

  The entire processional came to a halt. The queen gazed down her nose at Alice. A beautiful woman with challenging eyes. Long, black hair under a golden crown, and red lips in the shape of a heart. “Who is that woman?” the queen yelled at a soldier.

  “Not known, your highness!” the soldier called out.

  “Idiot,” the queen muttered. To Alice she said, “Who are you?”

  “I’m Alice.” She tried her best to curtsey without hitting the gardener beneath her.

  “Well, Alice, why are these roses white?”

  Alice felt a finger pull aside her underwear, exposing her pussy to the open air.

  “How should I know?” Alice gulped, and suppressed a shiver.

  The queen grit her teeth. “Where is the gardener?”

  Alice felt the gardener’s warm breath against her exposed cleft. A tongue stroked along the side of her folds. Even though no one could see her pussy being licked by the gardener, having them all watch her getting turned on was enough to make her blush.

  “The gardener?” Alice asked giving way to the embarrassment she felt by smiling.

  “Yes. Where is the gardener?”

  His moist tongue ran across the other side of her folds. Alice felt herself open up. What was he doing? Painting her pink folds red? Did he think she had a rose between her legs? The gardener found her deep opening. Alice felt his hot tongue slip deeper, painting her with fervent strokes.

  “The…gardener?” Alice managed.

  The queen huffed and exasperated breath. “Do you even know what a gardener is?”

  Yes, Alice thought. I’m getting to know his tongue very well.

  The gardener discovered her nub and licked around it, in the most luscious way, taking his time to make luxurious circles. Alice quivered.

  “Yes.” Alice sighed. That was the spot. Her juices dripped down to her knees.

  “Well then.” The queen over-enunciated her words. “Since you know what a gardener is. Then maybe. You can tell me. If you’ve seen. The gardener.”

  Round and round her clit with hot, slick licks, the gardener painted Alice.

  “The gardener?” Alice moaned.

  She couldn’t believe she had an entire unsuspecting audience watch her as she was being tasted, and turned on in most delightful way.

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake! Do you or do you not know where the gardener is?!”

  His tongue moved away from her nub and pushed his so clever tongue inside of her. Her whole body flushed as he slipped into her, caressing all around her inner walls.

  “Oh!” Alice cried, her body trembling. Never in all her years... the thought faded as her body heated.

  “You’re a strange bird,” the queen said. “But your face has good color.”

  The queen turned to a soldier beside her. “Invite her to my croquet game.”

  Alice’s body flushed hot. The gardener kept up his tongue twirling. She worked hard to stay still. She wanted to pump on his tongue. She wanted him to put a warm smart finger inside her ass. She was close to climax. A well-placed finger would get her there for sure. She wanted to squirm. She wanted more and she knew what she wanted. Heat pulsed through her and she held herself still.

  The soldier spoke. She heard him through her heat.

  “You, Alice, are hereby invited to join the queen in a game of croquet. Please follow us.”

  The processional marched past her. Alice didn’t want to move, not yet.

  Alice felt the tongue slip out, and a finger reposition her underwear. Alice sighed. The gardener came out from under her dress.

  “Thank you for saving me,” he said. “I am truly grateful. Oh, and I painted your rose red.”

  "I know." She took a deep breath and blew out to relieve some of the tension.

  "Are you alright, Alice?"

  Alice giggled at the way he didn’t seem to realize how she’d felt his every lick.

  “You better join the processional to the queen’s croquet game, now. Goodbye!” And off went the flat gardener with his talented tongue.

  Alice sighed again.

  It was time to find a way back home. Who else but the queen would have the power to help Alice return home? Alice decided she should befriend the queen, and if that meant playing croquet with her, so be it.

  Playing croquet with a queen! Alice relished the thought. My friends will be so jealous when they find out!

  Chapter 19

  Alice watched as all the soldiers of the processional had passed. Then came the vi
llagers from the start of her adventure, those ridiculous naked men from the campfire and led by their elder. She joined behind them, hoping she wouldn’t be recognized as the woman who killed one of their men. One of them bumped into her.

  She turned to whoever it was. “Pardon me.”

  It was Rabbit. His eyes widened. “You!”

  Alice raised her hands in innocence. “I swear it was an accident. I didn’t mean for any harm to come to him.”

  “ ‘Any harm?’ ” Rabbit looked appalled. “ ‘Any harm?!’ You talk as if he experienced a hazard of some sort. You killed him! Are you saying his death was an unfortunate mishap? A bad day? Rotten luck? One too many black cats crossed his path? Walked under too many ladders, did he? His death was just one of his unpleasant memories? Didn’t throw enough salt over his shoulder? Is that it?”

  “No! Of course not!” Alice’s gut clamped tight. “I feel awful about it.”

  Rabbit looked at Alice. She could feel her eyes stinging. All at once it hit her. The denial. Her denial. She spent all this time running away, never acknowledging his death.

  What did that say about her as a human being? Didn’t she realize how his friends could never see him again? Talk to him again? Enjoy his company? She shook her head to voice her heart-felt apology, but instead Rabbit startled her with his next words.

  “Aw, don’t worry about it. He came back to life.”

  “What?” She wiped away the wetness of her eyes.

  “One of the villagers got careless. He knows the taboo against reciting clichés, similes, and metaphors. But when he looked at the smile on the dead man’s face, he said, ‘It’s like he’s still alive.’ So the dead man came back to life.”

  Alice couldn’t believe it. “Wow! That’s great, right? Where is he now?”

  “In his cottage. After he came back to life, he found some slippery jelly, locked himself in his cottage, and we haven’t seen him since.”

  Slippery jelly? “But he’s okay? He’s still alive?”

  “He’s fine. He seems to be making a lot of discoveries.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Because everyone can hear him from inside his cottage saying, ‘Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes!’ ”

  Alice had the instant image of the man sliding a well-lubed hand up and down his cock. She smiled and bit on the tip of her finger to keep herself from revealing what she knew. But what mattered was that he was alive. The weight of her guilt lifted. She felt light, as if everything would be okay. Now she could go to the croquet game and fully enjoy herself like all the other players until she could find a way to get home.

  Wait a second, Alice thought. Isn’t the duke supposed to be at the game, too?

  Alice swiveled to see if the duke was in the processional. She didn’t see him.

  “Where’s the duke?” Alice asked Rabbit.

  “The queen sentenced him to have his head chopped off,” Rabbit said.

  “You mean,” Alice said, “the tip of his…” She burst out laughing and covered her mouth. The duke was going to have the top of his penis cut off! She was a little sorry for the duke’s pain. But not really.

  “It’s not funny!” Rabbit said.

  “I know, I know” Alice tried to stifle her laugh, but soon it exploded out from her mouth in loud barks. She grabbed her middle, the laughing hurt so much, in such a good way.

  Rabbit must think her the most cold-blooded person alive.

  She tried to control herself, breathing in, then out, waving her hands at her face.

  Rabbit looked appalled, again.

  “I’m sorry.” Alice couldn’t stop her grinning. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Deep breaths, she told herself.

  In.

  Out.

  In.

  Out.

  Alice finally said, “So how come the queen is having them cut off his--” She exploded in laughter again. She had to stop walking. Rabbit stopped beside her. The villagers around her moved past them. Alice doubled over, letting loose howls of laughter, clutching her side again. After the guffaws were out, and the chuckles and the giggles, she breathed and felt finally she had control of herself.

  She stood upright. She felt dizzy.

  “Are you quite done?” Rabbit asked sternly.

  “Yes.” Alice breathed deeply. “I think so.”

  She wondered when was the last time she laughed this much. She couldn’t remember. It felt great. Almost as great as an orgasm.

  She asked, “Why did the queen sentence him?”

  “He was late to the croquet game,” Rabbit said. “The queen doesn’t tolerate tardiness.”

  “So, this croquet game we’re going to wasn’t the one that he was invited to?”

  “No, no,” Rabbit said. “He was invited to the post-early-afternoon game. There have been three more since then.”

  “Three?”

  “Yes, the pre-mid-afternoon game, the mid-afternoon game, and the post-mid-afternoon game.”

  “And which one are we attending?”

  “The pre-late-afternoon game.”

  Alice cracked a smile and clamped down on the giggles that threatened to erupt.

  Alice was walking with Rabbit now as they approached a wide expanse of green. The entire processional had arrived at an enormous grassy field enclosed by red rose bushes.

  They heard an announcement, “Places everyone!”

  The flat soldiers ran to their places, bending over into arches.

  “What queer arches,” Alice said. She looked around to see where the balls were. She saw a spot by the bushes where dozens of crabs were slowly stepping and stumbling over each other. These crabs had spherical shells, instead of flat shells that Alice had always seen at the seaside. Their legs were just long enough to shift across the ground. Otherwise, it looked like they could roll head over tail quite easily.

  “What queer balls,” Alice said. She looked on the ground for mallets, but didn’t see any.

  “Where are the mallets?” Alice asked Rabbit.

  “There.” Rabbit pointed to a row of shirtless men. Some buff, some lean, some plump, some broad-shouldered. And mmm, Alice liked the chiseled chin on one of the broad-shouldered, bare-chested men. His chest was particularly buff and tan, as if he spent many hours in the sun working his body in honest labor.

  “Mallets,” the queen shouted, “Prepare yourselves!”

  The men took off their pants and Alice’s jaw dropped. Their penises were all incredibly long. They were so long they practically hit to the ground. Like a third leg. They weren’t even hard, yet! Alice looked at all the dangling cocks. Her pussy tingled.

  What would it be like to have one of those stuffed inside of her?!

  Lord, she was getting wet just at the thought of it. What would it be like to have that gorgeous chiseled-chin man on top of her, guiding his length into her, inch after inch, until he held her in his arms, and had her fully stretched with his cock? And what would his thrusts feel like? Each stroke would take a delicious forever, wouldn’t it?

  Alice felt her entire body heat up all over, her nipples hardened. Her breathing came short.

  “Well?” Rabbit said.

  “Nothing!” Alice put a hand to her mouth as if it would cover her thoughts.

  “What?”

  “What?” Alice felt like she was caught with her hand fisting the cookie jar.

  Rabbit looked confused. “I was just asking if you were going to pick your mallet,” he said. “Everyone else has.”

  Sure enough, all the other players were walking beside one of the naked men. She was in luck. No one had picked her chiseled-chin man with the very buff chest.

  Alice walked up to him, smiled, and took his hand. He smiled back. He even had the cutest dimples.

  She heard someone laugh and mutter, “She picked a narrow one.” Alice examined the man’s hanging glory. She supposed it was narrower than the others, but didn’t see the big deal. It was still close to dragging along the ground.


  “What’s your name?” She asked her mallet.

  “Charlie.” He smiled again and showed off his matching dimples.

  “I’m Alice,” she said. Then wondered what else to say. “You have a very lovely…mallet.” Stupid, Alice! Stupid! Stupid!

  “Thank you.” He blushed.

  How cute! She felt herself falling into his brown eyes, his smile, those dimples...

  "Players, find your places!" a voice announced.

  There was no time to gaze further into his eyes and continue her fantasy, since all the other players were leading their mallets on the field.

  She led Charlie to her ball on the field, surrounded by cards bent as arches. She glanced around quickly but didn’t see Rabbit or the queen.

  Her marked ball -- a crab with a single stripe upon its shell -- sat motionless, ready to be tapped. Now how was she supposed to do this? She huddled behind Charlie, wrapped her arms around his waist, and put everything she could into lifting his entire body. She managed somehow to lift him by leaning far back and swing him and his long cock in the general direction of the crab. His cock swung along with his body, but since it wasn’t any longer than his legs, it swung much too high to get anywhere near the crab.

  Alice felt Charlie’s stomach tighten under her hands.

  “That tickles,” Charlie said.

  She dropped him, putting his feet back on the ground. Boy, he’s heavy! She watched to see how the others were doing it. She noticed they had their men-mallets bend over onto their hands and feet making an upside-down V with their bodies. From their hips, the point on the V, hung their cocks close enough to the ground to swing at the crabs. The other players swung the cocks to hit the crab balls.

  Alice thought it was silly, and maybe a little sexy, especially if she was going to touch Charlie’s cock.

  She guided Charlie to bend over. His knees were straight, his hands on the grass. His dick swung free. She adjusted his body close enough to the crab, and positioned herself behind him, bent over him. She wrapped her arms around him to get both hands on his length. Heat surged between her legs, making her feel a little giddy. She paused.